Tuesday, August 23, 2011

How To Write Feministly-Reimagined Historical Novels

HI-LARIOUS!!!! And such a throwback to mine halcyon college days at a mid-sized liberal arts school in the Northeast, early to mid '90's... (of course I did emerge from the experience burdened by loans that in all likelihood will never repay....)

by India Edghill
1. All heroines are goddess-worshippers. If necessary (i.e., they are the daughter of the Jewish High Priest of Solomon’s Temple in Jerusalem), they are secret goddess-worshippers.
2. To be Politically Correct and not Offend Anyone, all gods are one god and all goddesses are one goddess. This means you don’t need to research their actual names or attributes, which is a real time-saver. Just remember that the deity the heroine worships is called simply “The Goddess”. To remain PC, from time to time try to remember that The Goddess has a Consort, The God (a deity who bears about the same vital relationship to The Goddess as Ken does to Barbie).
2a. In pre-Christianity historical novels, the goddess is properly called “the Great Mother”, even when the goddess actually worshipped has a perfectly good name, such as Isis, Asherah, or Inanna.
2b. In post-Christianity historical novels, Jesus is properly referred to as “the White Christ”, not to be confused with either the Lone Ranger or the Man from Glad. He may, however, be confused with the Goddess’s Consort.
2b.1. In which case, the Virgin Mary may, if you like, be confused with the Great Mother.
3. All goddess worshippers are pacifistic, politically-correct, and ecologically sound.
3a. All cultures that worship goddesses treat women well. All monotheistic cultures treat women badly. This holds true even though it requires ignoring such facts as sati in India (which has lots of goddesses) and female infanticide in pre-Islamic Arabia (which had lots of goddesses).
3b. All monotheistic cultures deny women any rights. This holds true even though it’s the Holy Qu’ran that grants women a half share in their father’s inheritance, rather than the zero share they got under the pan-Arabic pantheism that preceded Islam.
4. All monotheists are Bad
4a. Although they are pantheists, the Ancient Achaeans are Bad because they worship a Sky Father and drive out the Earth Mother.
4b. Although they are pantheists, Vikings are Bad because they worship an All-Father.
4b.l. Unless the book is a Viking romance, in which case I suppose the All-Father and the Great Mother can elope to Las Vegas for the weekend....READ THE REST HERE

Foundry of Doom

Escape your head with the smooth mellow strains of the finest DOOM METAL! In other words, 'tis a sonic head-trip that will leave you in a different place than when you started....

Saturday, August 20, 2011


Here's a thought: given that half this country is overweight, why do clothing stores persist in using starved-to-the-point-of-death models of perfection to sell clothes a large percentage of their customers will never fit into?

Or in other words, why is it so hard to find a pair of Dockers that'll fit my fat backside at Macy's? I call discrimination! 42 and above waists of the world unite!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Extending Extremes of Ennui...

What has been will be again,
 what has been done will be done again;
 there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say,
 “Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
 it was here before our time.
No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them.

Ennui is the most terrible of punishments afflicting the modern soul...anything us pitiful moderns could say to describe it, Ecclesiastes has done - and will always do- better....

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Three thoughts on the upcoming movie...

First, Jason Momoa is perfect casting, too bad he was born 30 years too late.

Second, PLEASE let them use the Poledouris score.

Third, I refuse to see it in 3D, the biggest scam ever inflicted on the movie-going public.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Creative Burn

Sometimes you have no choice...the creative burn comes upon thee and one can do naught but burn in those glorious flames until they fade away or you are consumed...

Thursday, August 11, 2011


I'm sure there's a meaning in this, bit damned if I can figure it out...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Paradise Lost: the film?

Apparently theres a Paradise Lost movie in the works, starring that dude from The Hangover (not the one with the beard!) which actually makes sense in a weird sort of way...but it does make one wonder how they'll handle a few of the more unusual scenes. Like the one where Satan meets his daughter...who is also the mother of his son...(squick)

Monday, August 8, 2011

Midnight in Bohemia

Just saw MIDNIGHT IN PARIS...interesting flick by any measure...certainly a fine alternative to the usual tits and ass blockbuster that seems to be the usual summer fare.

Two thoughts come to mind after seeing it. First, the danger of nostalgia. The character Gil yearns for the Paris of the 1920s, imagining it as an artistic paradise inhabited by the likes of Hemingway, Picasso, Gertrude Stein and Fitzgerald (kudos to Allison Pill as Zelda!) And indeed who wouldn't want to walk alongside such giants? But the character Arianna, in her dissatisfaction for her time and her desire for the Paris of the Belle Époque shows that all wonder is subjective. Periods that would magical to us are mundane to the people who actually lived in them. Which begs the question how people seventy years hence will see our own time...will there be generations of artists yet unborn yearning fir a chance to spend just a single night in the New York or London of the early 2000's, when Lady Gaga walked the earth and indie rock was the soundtrack of a generation? (or maybe not....)

The other thing that comes to mind is the character Inez and her family...basically caricatures of the social climbing bourgeoisie...portrayed as only some like Woody Allen, spending so much time in France, could do so. As human beings they're fairly repulsive - hence their being caricatures - but it occurs to me that the Bohemian as a person or subculture could not exist without the Bourgeois, since it is the Bourgeois which gives the Bohemian identity, by serving as something to stand against. What's the point of being enlightened with having masses of brutish, grasping philistines to despise? Art arises from conflict, which means an enemy is needed. A fine bit of hypocrisy, since it is the Bourgeois and their disposable income who support Bohemian artists in the end. Who else has the money to buy avant-garde works of art and literature...or the interest to do so?

Just something to consider...

Friday, August 5, 2011

Outer Reflection

Taken on MetroNorth

On Attachments

If you do not love, you have no cause for hate.

If you have no loyalties, you won't be betrayed.

If you have no wife, you won't ever be divorced.

If you have no children, you won't ever be disappointed.

If you have no friends, you will have no enemies.

If you own nothing, you will lose nothing.

If you want nothing, you have nothing to be lost.

No attachments...no misery. A loser has no expectations and nothing to lose. A loser is the freest of all men.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Critics Were Right

I usually put little stock in anything the critics say, the elitist mob that they are...but when it comes to "Cowboys and Aliens," I will concede a point in their favor. It is two great movies mashed into a single mediocre flick. Also...why does every film out there nowadays star Olivia Wilde? She's not that good...decent but not great...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


New show on SyFy (why did they change the name?) that has become my number one reason for staying home on Monday nights.