Monday, November 26, 2012

The history of mankind explained

This poem by Kipling, more than anything else, explains the entirely of human history in all its folly...

The Gods of the Copybook Headings

AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "Stick to the Devil you know."

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death."

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "If you don't work you die."

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Terry Pratchett at New York Comic Con


For me the highlight of New York Comic Con was seeing Terry Pratchett in person. Of course they put him on the wrong stage and no one could hear a word he was saying, even when a very nice lady all but shoved the mircophone in his mouth. But seeing the man, with the iconic beard and hat was a real treat, and reminder what the world will lose whne he finally departs this plane of existence.

On a side note, something more lighthearted...

Not thats something I could get behind!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Truth in Despair...

This described the creative mind more succintly than any ten thousand word essay...

Monday, September 17, 2012

Return of the Penny Dreadful

Way back in the 19th Century, even before the rise of the pulps, another form of cheap amusement haunted the eyes of the reading. Short, lurid, quickly written and dismissed as so much trash, it nonetheless was the most popular form of written entertainment of its time, cranked out by the thousands and sold on the street like so many apples and oranges. In America there was the Dime Novel...cheap, virtually mass produced stories that focused on the sensational and lurid. Cowboys and Indians, urban crime stories and so on, spread out across multiple volumes and editions, with series running on for years on end. In England they had the Penny Dreadful, serial short stories of lurid (there's that word again) nature in appearing in magazines and booklets. Both were targeted at audiences of young boys and men, part of the growing numbers of the literate public spawned by the Industrial Revolution. The rise of the pulps would eventually kill them off (as they in turn were killed off by the Second World War and the rise of the paperback.) But today, with the rise of the ebook, we may see a return of this old format, at least in part.

One of the big advantages of digital publishing is the low cost of production. No paper, to printer, in the end it's all nothing more than electrons, 1's and 0's and what time you choose to put in in terms of arranging them. Publication in instantaneous, as is purchase. Which, if one thinks about it, is perfect for a model similar to that of the old dimes and dreadful's. Quickly written, short, sensational in content and lurid in presentation...and serialized. Instead of laboring for years on end, writing, editing and re-writing thousand word doorstoppers, a writer (or team of writers - see Fantomas by Marcel Allain and Pierre Souvestre...) with a knack for publicity and a talent for compelling plots could do well for himself (or themselves) cranking out serialized stories released weekly. People often complain about the 99 cent price point as being economical. Maybe it is...for full length novels. But an old-fashioned (so old it's new) serialized story, released electronically over dozens of installments.

Now that could be something....